“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart …”
– Pema Chödrön
Accept the difficult (okay annoying!) person and situation. Recognize you have no control over the other person’s behavior. The only thing you can do is aim to “Show Up” with “Leadership Presence” – that is remain grounded and calm.
Have compassion for and be kind to yourself – first. Acknowledge that it’s tough and sometimes draining to deal with them.
When you’re ready, have compassion for the other person and imagine how they must feel and suffer if they act that way. Keep in mind they must live with themselves 24 hours a day (and you only part of the day).
Have compassion for other people who have to deal with this person or are experiencing other similar situations – you know how it feels!
Let go of having others confirm you’re okay and let it come from within. You cannot control the behavior of others. You can only protect yourself by setting boundaries, being kind to yourself, letting go of what you can’t control, and having a sense of humor.
“If a group member wants to fight with you … it is far better to step back than to overstep yourself… Your strength is good intelligence … advance only when you encounter no resistance. If you make a point, do not cling to it. If you win, be gracious.”
– The Tao of Leadership by John Heider