Helping leaders emerge

Blog - August 2014

Critical Conversations: How to Show Up When the Other Person Plays Win Lose

"I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to." - Unknown

I recently coached an individual who was struggling with how he should show up when communicating with a difficult colleague. He explained to me that whenever there was a disagreement, his peer would start lashing out and ultimately play "win-lose" - that is say anything to make him appear like the righteous one and my client the bad guy. My client would leave the interaction feeling triggered and it would take time to cool off and get grounded.

While it's not always this extreme, many of my clients struggle with difficult situations and people. So what can we do? How do we show up when someone does not want to engage in an open conversation, and play fair? While good communication strategies and proven tools often improve difficult situations and critical conversations - what do we do when they don't? How do we remain grounded and non-reactive to the other person?

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